haha.it's been a long time since i blogged.mmm...i don't think i have much to blog about...btw, ivy u a bit mad rite?watch initial d so many times!n u're v bio.not a bad thing though...

prelims is officially 39 days away, yao and ivy did a count.haha.it seems like a long time rite?but somehow i think it's gonna b way shorter than we expect.i'm kind of scared.ok mayb not...but i think i want to get into acs(i) and they're looking at prelims so...i feel very awkward when pple ask me wat jc i want to go, bcos i havent made up my mind yet.a lot of pple seem to want to go to hci, but something mrs wong said abt sch culture made me feel as if if i go there,it wont suit me.i dunno.so at the present moment,my aim is acs(i) i guess though i seriously dont think i can get in...=(oh actually, i think i want ot go to sajc, cos my cousin is there and she's having the time of her life.i'm looking for somewhere fun, i dun think i want a place that's reputated for good results n stuff...am i weird?

we're going to get back our development test during geog after this...i have this bad feeling it's going to bve horrible.lol.i don't mean to sound mark-conscious though it does sound like it here but marks can depress me.ok mayb not depress, more like dampen and sadden me.i was just reflecting the other day and i think i'm one who takes a long while to recover from failure.some pple prob know this.haha.

we're goin to watch mystery of the nile later.yay.the last time i went science centre was for the chem thing some time ago...anyway, i think i like the science centre.i dunno.i'm beginning to think i have weird taste...

u know,i just realised recently, i saw the other side of a person that she hides from others.i'm not saying it's bad.as in the side of the person being bad cos i saw both good and bad.n when i was reading pple's blogs, it struck me that i knew only the surface of pple, the side which they present to everyone.When i read their blogs, it freaks me out, cos they seem so...i dunno...turbulent inside maybe.They seem just fine in sch, but it's scary what's deep inside them.ignorance is bliss.i so agree with dat.i just realised knowing certain stuff that u weren't mean to know only makes u miserable.

I've decided that i shall forgive and forget from now on.it's not like i really bore grudges previously but i think it's really important if we can move on.Some stuff, i know, may just be too difficult to erase permanently from our minds.it will always linger there, be it in our conscious or subconscious.i admit i have some not-nice stuff that i have heard from gossips behind my back that i'll nvr forget and when i get upset,they resurface again,and attack me with as much strength as before.it hurts.so i'll not gossip abt anyone from now on.except for 1 person.i won't say who it is.

i know i'm being mean but i'll go straight to the pt.i hate pple who look down on me.n i know a few pple whom i see quite often who r like dat.it just irks me.i mean,why can't they treat me decently?Is it dat hard?to talk to me decently?am i asking a lot from u?(now i'll refer to a certain someone) i know u're rich but dat doesn't mean u can act like u're on top of the world right?n i heard dat u've been talking abt me behind my back.i don't care.u can do wateva u want.it's ur mouth anyway.i can't control it.but i think u shld stop and consider other pple's feelings just this once.it's not dat hard right?to ask for a little sensitivity?n here i mean u shld think abt others whom u've gossiped abt.fine,everyone gossips,but...i dunno.ok,i'm bitching here.n i don't like it.but i hate the way u're treating me.i'm being mean.so i shall stop.

dat was so depressing.as was kwong wai shiu visit today.i found algae in the woman's drinking bottle and decided to wash it.jamie helped n cat too.man,i so want to puke.oh then i saw the water bottle of the woman ivy was talking too, so i told ivy n brave ivy washed it.it's so gross inside.don't believe.ask ivy.lol.n ivy was the only one whose dialect was like so FLUENT.n caroline too.i had a bit of a prob.so i tried to act out my movements.so retarded of me.n we decided to raise funds for them.i suggested buying new water bottles.giving to the hospital is not likely to be put to use the way i want it too...n the nurses r so rough.i was so pissed i asked the woman,"can u dont be so rough" in a very cold tone.She just said roughly,"they're v heavy n difficult to move,"Wat's their problem?!it's a gd thing i have learnt to manage my anger.seriously.i use to have anger-management issues.i got pretty violent.but that's the past.i know i'm small but still...haha.

sorry for not blogging for ages.lol.i was busy trying to change my template.the previous one was temporary actually.n i was very pissed with the varying fonts...watever.oh sue lynn, i got the yrbk!u know,i just realised sth today.i regret.a lot.i dunno why?i feel so pathetic.i know pple who nvr regret wat they do.they're so lucky...sigh.n i nvr say the right stuff at the right time.most of the time i say stuff that after wat happened, i wld ask myself why the heck did i say such a ridiculous thing...n i don't like rejecting pple.i can't.like donations.when some1 asks me,i can't find it in my heart to say no to dat person, i'll just give.i'm so weak, right?=( i just don't like hurting other pple's feelings,dat's all.i mean, if i were dat person, i wouldn't want to be rejected...n when i see pple upset or pissed off at others, i want to cheer them up, but i dont know wat to do.words don't really help.i feel so helpless.n awkward.oh, n when someone asks me for advice, i feel so useless when i'm unable to help them.cos they just wasted their time on me.for NOTHING.sigh.

Oh my gosh.my piano exam sucks lah.like shit.n i'm not kidding or anything.Let's see, for scales,i sorta heard wrongly twice n the examiner was kinda surprised.i think he was wondering whether i'm deaf.lol.n obviously, as i'm not perfect, i slipped.a couple of time.cos my hands were so numb from the cold.oh n my pieces, while c n a were ok i guess, a slip occassionally but my b piece was disastrous.He's not going to pass me on dat one.i'm sure of it.there is NO possibility he's going to pass me.Sight Reading?ok...Aural?don't talk abt it.it was super sucky and i mean seriously bad.not kidding.i'm can't sing.it's not my fault that i am not gifted right?I know u can practise.but wat if u practise n it nvr helps?haha.wateva.i'm going to fail.n onths b4 dat i was thinking how wonderful it would be when July was over.NO MORE PIANO FOR MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE?now, there's no way that's gonna happen cos i'll have to retake...i know wat u're thinking...sad life right?i don't deny...

through the trees
i will find you
i will heal the ruins left inside you;



samantha.nus med class of 2013!hwachong apollo.shopaholic.danceaddicted.
currently having horrible hair.loves you.


my straight hair back!
money!a job!





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