Monday, May 15, 2006
hmm..what i am going to say is rather random and is something i am writing on an impulse..
i give up.the prejudice has been there,is there and will always be there.no matter how much we tell ourselves that we shall not be mean but instead be nice it is just impossible.it has become some sort of reflex,or should i say conditioned reflex,even subconsciously,at times when we don't realise it we are actually doing it..i think i am at a junction where there is a big boulder,an obstacle essentially that i have to remove.but it is gonna take so much strength and effort both physically and mentally that i just cannot be bothered to do so.i'd rather leave it there and prevent myself from proceeding on to the desired path that is so much brighter and cleaner.no,i have chosen to turn back,go back and find another junction that isnt blocked.i did not block my entry onto that path..you did,well i did too i guess..i am not blaming you.we are both at fault.i am sorry but i am just not prepared nor am i willing to go to the extent.maybe it just isn't time yet.maybe that boulder will go away someday..but i doubt it..once biased,always biased?it's like a habit basically.something that we unconsciously practise everyday.at first,we may be conscious,then it reaches into the unconscious..meanwhile,let us leave it that way.let the boulder be something that separates my path from yours and for now,may it never cross..
Y9:34 PM
